To Goop or Not to Goop

Three evenings ago a group of 10 delightful women whom I have come to know and love, just absolutely took it upon them selves to abandon my housemates and I in our hour of need. They had the cheek to leave us with troughs of Almond Mousse, Praliné Brest and La Bête Noire. Although they did take home scraps to their spouses, the portions were barely enough to feed a mouse.

Their pretext in this lapse of manners was because they were afraid it would go their hips! What a wretched excuse! I mean after all, was it reasonable enough for my derriere to be labeled ‘caution wide load’ but not theirs? How selfish of them. Hmmpf.

Well…after my indignation wore off and I began licking these fripperies from my fingers which, coincidentally, just happened to slip into the bowl, I realized the combination of the three flavors was an admirable new creation. Hmmm. What would I call this new potion? I like to toss thoughts like that around in my head for a while so I decided to sleep on it. The thoughts not the creation.

The following day had proved to be a long and tiring one, so after eating leftovers of Chicken Almond, Black Swine and Cucumber tea sandwiches I asked my housemates the customary “Did you have enough to eat?” It seems I am always concerned about the state of my friends’ stomachs. They requested a bit of dessert and so I brought out the three containers of saccharine snippets.

When asked to be reminded of their names I responded with “this is Praline Mousse, this one is Chocolate Mousse and this one is…” I was tired and couldn’t for the life of me remember the word almond. “This one is…I don’t know some kind of white goop.”

So here it is Sunday afternoon and I am exploring the contents of the ice box wondering what I should cook for dinner. I no longer wanted quiche since I had a small piece for breakfast. I had melon and Prosciutto for lunch. Let me see. We have leftover chicken, lots of veggies which would make a great pot of Jewish Penicillin, and…goop. Which one do we partake of?

To Goop or not to goop, that is the question? Do we eat the leftovers that are still fit for human consumption, or do we simply smear them on our thighs since that is exactly where they will end up anyway so why go to the trouble of eating them? I can hear the melodious sounds of Nelson Eddy and Jeannette McDonalds song wafting from the three containers. “I am calling you-oo-oo-oo-oo.” But the voice inside of my head is countering with the Supremes “Stop. In the name of love, before they break your butt. Think it oh-oh-ver. Think it oh-oh-ver.”

Well I thought it oh-oh-ver and the recipe for the day is…..

Jewish Penicillin

3-4 pound ready to eat roasted chicken
2 tablespoons canola oil
2 cups onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups mushrooms, sliced
1/4 cup flour
2 cups carrot, sliced thin
2 cups celery, sliced
2 cups broccoli, chopped
3/4 teaspoon tarragon
1/4 teaspoon thyme
2 cups white wine
1 1/2 cups evaporated milk

It is important to start with a completely roasted chicken. Believe it or not, a cooked chicken is much more flavorful than an uncooked one. Place it in a large stock pot. Add just enough chicken broth to cover it. Put it on low heat, cover and go to the movies, go for a Sunday drive, anything you’d like. Just leave the pot alone for minimum of 4 hours. Don’t even stir it. When the chicken has begin to fall off the bone, you’ll want to remove the chicken, bones and all. Set aside to cool. Continue simmering the broth.

When the chicken is cool enough to handle, separate the chicken from the bones discarding the bones as well as other unwanted parts such as the skin. Return chicken to the pot. Continue simmering.

In a separate skillet, sauté the onions, garlic and mushrooms in the canola oil. Cook them for about 8-10 minutes or until the mushrooms just turn golden. Whisk in the flour. Add to the chicken. Add the remaining veggies, herbs and wine. Simmer for about 20-30 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes or so or until veggies are tender.

Add cooked egg noodles just before serving if so desired.




Post Script. To my Sunday morning cohorts; I do hope you know it is all in jest. I love you dearly and have already forgiven you your blunder. Guffaw, guffaw.

The Wild Brewed Yonder

Coffee. Is there anything more decadent than that first pot of coffee in the morning? The rich aroma of those darkly roasted kernels of instant energy being deluged for our aphrodisiacal enslavement?

It is certainly my drug of choice. It’s not that I can’t start my day without that first sip, but more that I choose not to. There is something comforting about holding that freshly brewed cup of battery acid in my hands, letting the aroma open my baby blues before that black pungent yet tantalizing liquid passes these withered middle aged lips.

I was raised on coffee milk in the 50’s and 60’s thinking it quite the treat to have a cup ‘o’ Joe with my folks. It of course was more like the new McCafé version of coffee with an exuberance of sugar and milk, but it was a grown up drink therefore I was cool, hip, with it.

My tastes haven’t really changed all that much, in as much as I do enjoy cream and sugar in my coffee. I also enjoy the flavored coffees. Coconut, hazelnut, butternut and every other nut flavor there is. Then we move on to the fruitier blends of chocolate raspberry, cherry cordial and even a blueberry cream.

And how do you know which type of ‘roast’ to buy? I mean this decision isn’t like choosing a cut of meat. With meat you basically have, rib roast, ribeye roast or tenderloin roast, round tip or eye round. Five choices from melt in your mouth tender to a bit tougher but if done right can be superb.

With coffee however you have a dizzying array of types available. Different roasts come with wildly different tastes and nuances. There is light roast, medium roast and dark roast. Then we have American roast, French roast, Vienna roast, European roast, Turkish Roast, Italian roast; and the list goes on to assure you that you have a world of coffee in every cup. Next decision is do you want these caf, decaf or extra caf.

STOP! I just want a cup of coffee. I do have to say however as I start my second pot in 90 minutes, nobody’s…not even the jolly green giant’s can compare to an authentic Italian cappuccino, in which milk is brought to a dense-textured, soupy froth and then poured into a single serving of espresso. Aaahhh.

I am an avid participant in the Coffee Fest held in Seattle each autumn. There in the confines of the Seattle Convention Center you will find not just a handful but more than 100 of the country’s top coffee roasters. I have learned by experience that when I go (last year was the first year I have missed in 6 years) bring a rolling suitcase with you.

The powers that be hand you this little grocery sized bag as you walk through the door and your first thought is “Oh goodie. I get to go home with a lot of useless information.” NOT! You not only don’t go home with a lot of useless information but you do go home with pounds of free coffee. Yes that’s right, I said pounds! From Caffe D'Arte to Zoka Coffee Roaster & Tea Co., you will go home with a suitcase of free half pound to full pound samplers.

Now…although this may have sounded like a plug for Coffee Fest, it’s truly a plug for a coffee addicts blissful long weekend coffee spot. I mean what could be better than to spend 72 glorious hours drinking that marvelous legally addictive stimulant. This is where I discovered that divine Italian Cappuccino.

Now that we have tasted (even if only by osmosis) from all of those fabulous around the world roasters, and decided which coffee will gratify our morning fix, we must then decide do we want cream, sugar, or one of those delightfully flavored cream substitutes that contain no God made ingredients except sugar.

I mean have you read the labels of any of these enticing concoctions? Water; sugar; partially hydrogenated soybean and/or cottonseed oil and less than 2% of sodium caseinate.

Then of course we can not forget about those delightful ingredients that make you glow in the dark; dipotassium phosphate; disodium phosphate; mono and diglyceride, cellulose gel and cellulose gum (as if I haven’t got enough of those wrinkly little unwanted dimples in my thighs already), color added, natural and artifical flavors and last but definitely not least carrageenan.

Okay, think I will take Hal's advice and switch to something natural like milk.

OREGON FILBERT CAKE

2 1/3 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 1/2 cups sugar
2/3 cup butter
3 large egg yolks
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup strongly brewed coffee
1/2 cup filberts (hazelnuts)

In a large mixing bowl, sift together the first 4 ingredients. Set aside.

In a separate medium sized bowl, cream together, sugar, butter, and vanilla, until thoroughly combined. Beat in egg yolks and blend until light and fluffy or for about 2-3 minutes more. Pour into lightly buttered & sugared 9 X 13” rectangular pan.

Bake at 350° for 30—35 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Let cool for at least 15 minutes before serving. Top with freshly whipped cinnamon laced cream

Live Life or Die Trying

My mom God bless her was a lousy cook. Her idea of Swedish Meatballs was taking ground beef and rolling it into little balls; pouring milk over them and boiling it until the milk was curdled, if there was any left in the pan, and the beef resembled something the cows had dropped in the field. So I learned at a very early age to cook as a matter of survival.

I became an accomplished cook to impress a guy. I didn’t get the guy but I got a great career. So for the last 20 plus years I have been earning a living making people happy with food. With that said…I served High Tea for 10 (four of the guests could not make it) this evening which turned out to be more of a dinner than tea, but it was well received and there were music to my ear ooohs and aaahs throughout the evening.

I am proud to say that almost everything did not come in a bag, a can or a box, but I kind of figured it would not have been too fair of me to have forced my Nutritional Therapy 101 class on an unsuspecting group of ladies.

Along with various scones, teas and the quiche from this morning’s blog, I served everything from fresh fruit and cream to hot Black Swine sandwiches and a Praliné Brest for dessert with freshly made gold dust. I think the only thing that wasn't on the menu was beef.

Let me tell you now that I am a huge beef fan, which by the way comes wrapped in cellophane so that does not count towards the no BBC plan. Last year after the last of my kids had moved out and was no longer living with me, beef seemed to be miraculously affordable again. I do believe it was because of me alone, that the stock in the National Cattleman’s Beef Association went up.

My youngest likes his beef well done. So well done that he cooks his own now till it looks like my grandfathers’ old army boots. Me? Just walk the cow past the table and let me point to which piece I want. Served on a plate all by itself. No potatoes; no veggies; Maybe an occasional onion or two but not often. Nope. I can just smell those 32 ounces of hot, crimson, essence of Bovine oozing blood from every orifice.

What do you mean but beef isn’t good for you? Who says? They? Who exactly are they anyway? First they said beef will make you strong. Then they said it will make you fat. Then they said don’t eat it but they really didn’t give you a reason, but because this advice came from some government official we believed him. What is the definition of insanity again?

They even checked the fat content of beef and compared it to chicken and turkey. Well let’s do just that. Depending on the cut of beef, it can be less or very close to most poultry. Chicken breast: with skin, baked; 170 calories; 7.0 g fat; 2.0 g saturated fat; 70 mg cholesterol; 25 g protein. Beef sirloin steak: trimmed of visible fat, broiled; 170 calories; 6.0 g fat; 2.0 g saturated fat; 75 mg cholesterol; 26 g protein.

Now why do we take all of the visible fat off of the beef and not the chicken? Cuz the beef will still be incredibly flavorful, tender and moist without the visible fat, whereas the chicken will look and taste like, my grandmothers old army boots.

Okay. My all time favorite reason they say to no to eating beef. What about mad-cow disease you ask? What about it? Let’s look at the symptoms.

1. Anxiety – I am 53, soon to be 54, out of work and menopausal…what have I got to be anxious about?
2. Depression - I am 53, soon to be 54, out of work and menopausal, and my kids don’t call as often as I would like them to, my friends don’t call as often as I would like them to but hey…Why should I be depressed?
3. Memory loss – If I have mad cow disease and one of the symptoms is memory loss I won’t know I have it and if I do I won’t remember it, so what's the big deal?
4. Impaired thinking – I’ve been a single mom for 28 years. Of course my thinking is impaired.
5. Impaired muscle coordination – Does the term over the hill mean anything to anyone?
6. Blurred vision – I can see just fine. I like wearing my orange and grey plaid pants with the purple and pink polka dot top. Remember the 70’s
7. Personality changes – And again I say, I am 53 and menopausal…do the math.
8. Insomnia – With all the problems mentioned above could you sleep?
9. Speech impairment – My speeth hath not been effected at thith time in my life.

Silly I know, but my point is you have a much better chance of dying in an airplane crash or being struck by lightning than you do of contracting Mad Cow disease so why worry? So enjoy that all you can eat rib joint, that you've been salivating over for years. Have fun and dig in. Not to worry that you'll have ear to ear barbecue sauce. Everyone there will understand. I know do!

HARVEST CHILI

1 tablespoon canola oil
1 cup red onion
1 cup carrot
1 cup green beans
1 cup red bell pepper
1/2 cup green bell pepper
1 clove garlic
1 pound ground sirloin
3 cups canned tomatoes with green chiles*
1 3/4 cups canned pumpkin*
1 3/4 cups tomato sauce*
15 ounces canned black beans*
1/2 cup green chili peppers
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
* Exception to the rule only if all natural ingredients)

In a large dutch oven, over medium-high heat, saute onions, peppers and garlic in oil, for about 5-7 minutes or until just tender. Add sirloin. Continue cooking for about 6-8 minutes or until no longer pink, crumbling the beef as you cook.

Add the remaining ingredients. Mix well. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer 45 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes or so.

Top with shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream, if so desired.