Live Life or Die Trying

My mom God bless her was a lousy cook. Her idea of Swedish Meatballs was taking ground beef and rolling it into little balls; pouring milk over them and boiling it until the milk was curdled, if there was any left in the pan, and the beef resembled something the cows had dropped in the field. So I learned at a very early age to cook as a matter of survival.

I became an accomplished cook to impress a guy. I didn’t get the guy but I got a great career. So for the last 20 plus years I have been earning a living making people happy with food. With that said…I served High Tea for 10 (four of the guests could not make it) this evening which turned out to be more of a dinner than tea, but it was well received and there were music to my ear ooohs and aaahs throughout the evening.

I am proud to say that almost everything did not come in a bag, a can or a box, but I kind of figured it would not have been too fair of me to have forced my Nutritional Therapy 101 class on an unsuspecting group of ladies.

Along with various scones, teas and the quiche from this morning’s blog, I served everything from fresh fruit and cream to hot Black Swine sandwiches and a Praliné Brest for dessert with freshly made gold dust. I think the only thing that wasn't on the menu was beef.

Let me tell you now that I am a huge beef fan, which by the way comes wrapped in cellophane so that does not count towards the no BBC plan. Last year after the last of my kids had moved out and was no longer living with me, beef seemed to be miraculously affordable again. I do believe it was because of me alone, that the stock in the National Cattleman’s Beef Association went up.

My youngest likes his beef well done. So well done that he cooks his own now till it looks like my grandfathers’ old army boots. Me? Just walk the cow past the table and let me point to which piece I want. Served on a plate all by itself. No potatoes; no veggies; Maybe an occasional onion or two but not often. Nope. I can just smell those 32 ounces of hot, crimson, essence of Bovine oozing blood from every orifice.

What do you mean but beef isn’t good for you? Who says? They? Who exactly are they anyway? First they said beef will make you strong. Then they said it will make you fat. Then they said don’t eat it but they really didn’t give you a reason, but because this advice came from some government official we believed him. What is the definition of insanity again?

They even checked the fat content of beef and compared it to chicken and turkey. Well let’s do just that. Depending on the cut of beef, it can be less or very close to most poultry. Chicken breast: with skin, baked; 170 calories; 7.0 g fat; 2.0 g saturated fat; 70 mg cholesterol; 25 g protein. Beef sirloin steak: trimmed of visible fat, broiled; 170 calories; 6.0 g fat; 2.0 g saturated fat; 75 mg cholesterol; 26 g protein.

Now why do we take all of the visible fat off of the beef and not the chicken? Cuz the beef will still be incredibly flavorful, tender and moist without the visible fat, whereas the chicken will look and taste like, my grandmothers old army boots.

Okay. My all time favorite reason they say to no to eating beef. What about mad-cow disease you ask? What about it? Let’s look at the symptoms.

1. Anxiety – I am 53, soon to be 54, out of work and menopausal…what have I got to be anxious about?
2. Depression - I am 53, soon to be 54, out of work and menopausal, and my kids don’t call as often as I would like them to, my friends don’t call as often as I would like them to but hey…Why should I be depressed?
3. Memory loss – If I have mad cow disease and one of the symptoms is memory loss I won’t know I have it and if I do I won’t remember it, so what's the big deal?
4. Impaired thinking – I’ve been a single mom for 28 years. Of course my thinking is impaired.
5. Impaired muscle coordination – Does the term over the hill mean anything to anyone?
6. Blurred vision – I can see just fine. I like wearing my orange and grey plaid pants with the purple and pink polka dot top. Remember the 70’s
7. Personality changes – And again I say, I am 53 and menopausal…do the math.
8. Insomnia – With all the problems mentioned above could you sleep?
9. Speech impairment – My speeth hath not been effected at thith time in my life.

Silly I know, but my point is you have a much better chance of dying in an airplane crash or being struck by lightning than you do of contracting Mad Cow disease so why worry? So enjoy that all you can eat rib joint, that you've been salivating over for years. Have fun and dig in. Not to worry that you'll have ear to ear barbecue sauce. Everyone there will understand. I know do!

HARVEST CHILI

1 tablespoon canola oil
1 cup red onion
1 cup carrot
1 cup green beans
1 cup red bell pepper
1/2 cup green bell pepper
1 clove garlic
1 pound ground sirloin
3 cups canned tomatoes with green chiles*
1 3/4 cups canned pumpkin*
1 3/4 cups tomato sauce*
15 ounces canned black beans*
1/2 cup green chili peppers
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
* Exception to the rule only if all natural ingredients)

In a large dutch oven, over medium-high heat, saute onions, peppers and garlic in oil, for about 5-7 minutes or until just tender. Add sirloin. Continue cooking for about 6-8 minutes or until no longer pink, crumbling the beef as you cook.

Add the remaining ingredients. Mix well. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer 45 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes or so.

Top with shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream, if so desired.